Announcing a new feature developed for this trip – the Digital Digit of Douche- bagginess (DDD) symbolized by our friend the upraised middle digit 🖕. D-bags are an unfortunate part of life, we all encounter them every day. But for those few who exceed the bounds of ordinary douche bagginess, this award will be freely bestowed.
The very first DDD goes to the imbecilic idiot in front of us at the gas pump, who decided to go inside the store after pumping. Who hasn’t run inside for a minute after pumping, if the gas pumps are empty? But these pumps were all full. Five minutes went by, then 10. No other pumps opened up, so we waited and speculated on the possibilities. Was his debit card declined? Sick in the bathroom? Kidnapped? After 15 minutes the moron came strolling out of the store – “I had to make an emergency phone call and I couldn’t get off.” WTF. On a pay phone? Do they even exist anymore? You couldn’t pull into a parking space first? These are for you my friend. 🖕 🖕 🖕 This was such an egregious waste of our time, you, the very first winner, get three of them.
I think you’re going to be very busy with this DDD category. I’ve encountered this particular winner many times before.